You Suck At Craigslist (.com)

Oh man.  Someone sent me this link today and the below was by far my favorite post… first of all, genius!— why didn’t I think of that?!  Secondly, I just love sarcasm… so amazing.

Adult Size Spider Man – $30

This is a nice item to have in your home if you want to sit on the sofa as a decoy when you are not home. Or, you can let your busy kids jump all over him. You can even ride Spider Man in your vehicle when you are traveling alone because he looks so real. He is taking up a lot of space here and we just don’t have a need for him any more. So, take this good old boy home with you. He comes from a pet free and smoke free home. He is in excellent condition. He remains in the sitting position that you see in the below picture. 


Yes, that’s right, you can use Spiderman here as a dummy passenger in your car so you can drive in the HOV lanes because he looks so realistic. The first thing a cop will think is “Oh, that car is fine; it has one person driving and Spiderman in the front seat. That’s totally normal.”

And who would be stupid enough to rob a house when Spiderman is sitting on the couch watching TV? While wearing mittens and footies? With his head rolled back as though he’s been on a three-day meth and mezcal binge? NOBODY, that’s who. I mean, that would be like robbing a house protected by a lifesized cutout of Bea Arthur. It just isn’t done in civilized society.


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